How To Win At Losing
by Rogen-chan
Summary: Light and L, geniuses though they may be, can still get bored. Add a couch full of pillows, a few insults, and what do you get?
1. Of Pillow Fights and Sad Puppies

Right, this isn't my first fanfiction, but it is the first one I'm posting one here. Please be kind. It was originally going to just be a one-shot, but I think that I might post little shorties in here if. Tell me what you think! There will be cussing in here (I think), and shounen-ai if you squint really hard. Any and all flames will be responded to with a quick, "Fuck off," and left at that. (Ha, I knew there would be cussing!)

**How to Win at Losing How to Win at Losing**

**Ramble One:**

**Of Pillow Fights and Sad Puppies**

Light jumped back to his feet, a low snarl escaping through his tightly clenched teeth. Gripping his weapon tightly, he launched into another attack, yelling "You stupid anti-social moron!"

Somewhere off on the sidelines, there came four loud sighs. Matsuda, Aizawa, Mogi, and Soichiro all knew better than to try to stop the fight, lest they be covered in feathers as well.

"Homicidal maniac!" L growled, whacking Light hard over the head with the pillow he had stolen from the couch. Matsuda winced as down feathers exploded from a new tear in the fabric not two feet away from him, fluttering through the air to land all over him.

"I am NOT Kira!"

_Whack_

"No one believes mass-murderers!"

_Bwoumf_

"You sugar-obsessed, lazy ass PANDA!"

_RIIIIIIP_

"Your just jealous 'cuz I'm sexy."

_Bwoumf_

"A least _I_ don't have a _bondage fetish!!_"

An outraged cry, and feathers once again littered the air, slowly coming to a rest on the floor and the four unfortunate bystanders. The four co-workers had long since learned not to interfere with such fights. All that did was leave the tension in the room at an impossible high, and the one who broke up the fight possibly with a black eye.

Now, Light and L stood across from each other, looking like a couple of over grown two-year-olds: Panting heavily, covered in feathers, clutching the remains of their pillows—now just empty bags—and glaring at each other while at the same time casting about for a new weapon. L whipped out his cell phone, quickly dialing a number. "Watari! We need more pillows!" he barked into it, and then snapped it shut.

Glancing back up at each other, it appeared that Light lost it. Falling to his knees, he dropped the pillow bags and burst out laughing. Doubling over and clutching his stomach, he howled gleefully, and tears started to bead in his eyes. L, unable to take it, plopped down next to him and started laughing right along with him.

Soichiro just shook his head disdainfully, muttering, "Light never would have done that before," and scowling at his computer as though it was the machine's fault. Aizawa chuckled merrily, turning back around to work; he always loved to cheer on one or the other.

Matsuda and Mogi dusted themselves of feathers, though they were both laughing too. Watari appeared from the elevator, hands full of more pillows. "On the couch, or would you two like to continue your fight?" he asked L. The world's top three detectives looked back up at the old man, then his gaze met Light's and they both burst out howling again.

Sighing, Watari mumbled something that sounded oddly like, "World's smartest detective my ass," and dropped the pillows on the floor next to L. "I'll leave these with you, Ryuuzaki." He said, and bowed out of the room.

This had become almost routine by now. Around lunchtime, L and Light would always find _something_ to fight about, whether it be what type of ice cream was the best, or whether or not Light was Kira.

Then they would get into some type of fight, and it varied from day to day. Yesterday, it had been just an exchange of verbal insults and a who-has-a-better-death-glare contest. The day before, it had been an actual fistfight, which hardly happened anymore; they both apparently decided that it would be no fun to have to sit at a desk all day if you were aching from head to toe.

Today's pillow fight (which had been happening more and more often) had been initiated by Light. He had been trying to convince L to eat something besides sugar cubes, cake, and coffee for lunch, offering him a piece of chicken. When L had vehemently refused, they had begun their fight with verbal abuse. Then death threats. Then Light had gotten pissed off enough to storm over to the couch, grab the fluffiest pillow he could find, and whack L hard over the head with it.

The feathers had gotten not only all over L, but also all over the paperwork and his three computers. "Look what a mess you made!" L cried, launching from his spinning chair so hard it had rolled backwards a good twelve feet before toppling over. Snatching two pillows from the couch, he had started to pummel Light.

Ignoring the groans off annoyance from Mogi and Soichiro (along with the cries of glee from Matsuda and Aizawa) they had continued to cheerfully beat each other to death with fluffy pillows.

"Ryuuzaki, that was… possibly… the _stupidest_thing… we have fought over yet!" Light choked out, still breathless from laughing so hard. He wiped away a stray tear. L chuckled happily. "Hey, it passed the time, so I'm not complaining." They sat staring at each other for a few moments, and then Light, uncomfortable under his superior's gaze, blurted out the first that came to mind: "So Ryuuzaki, will you try some chicken now?"

L growled and picked up the pillow sitting next to him, smacking him in the face with it. "Not on your life, Light-kun." He spat. Light grinned, glad to have an opportunity for another verbal fight, before plastering a hurt look on his face. "Does that mean you'd rather watch me die than eat one piece of real food?" he asked.

His act must have been pretty convincing, because for a moment, L almost looked guilty. Almost. And then the monotonous mask was back in place. "It would serve you right, Kira." He said defiantly. Light gasped, actually hurt this time. "Ryuuzaki! _I'm not Kira!!"_ he whined. L just shook his head and slouched off towards the kitchen. "Yeah, and I'm going on a diet." He said, rolling his eyes.

Light felt the chain connecting them tug at his wrist and followed after him, his head drooping and shoulders slumped. It hurt him more than L knew when he said things like that, but instead of showing it, he just fought right back. But he was getting tired of fighting; he really respected this man. Light stood in silence as L selected a piece of cake from the fridge, and turned around.

And now L really did feel guilty. He had been meaning just to start another verbal spar, but it looked like Light was really very hurt by his comment. "Light…" he sighed. "I'm not Kira," the boy whimpered. His entire appearance was something akin to a kicked puppy, and L almost melted and hugged him. "I'm sorry, but until I find solid proof that you're not Kira, I can't take this chain off." He said instead, hoping the teen would just accept that.

Light nodded, still looking slightly dejected, and trooped back out into the main office behind L, following him like a lost puppy. Which, in a way, he was; lost, confused, and hurt, so he followed the only one who might not want to be followed. The one who didn't believe him. But that was all right; Light was determined to find some way to prove to L that he was wrong. Light was _not_ a murderer. He was… he was… well, in all honesty, he didn't know anymore. But that was all right, too. He would figure it out, along side L.


	2. Of Kandas and Handcuffs

Ramble Two:

Okay, I'd like to thank everybody who read my story! And I'd like to give a cookie to all people who reviewed, but I can't, so I'll just settle for thank each an every one of you in this author's note: **Dark Oracle (**Thank you for being the first to review!**), Light-Kira** **(**Whose question I answered in a PM; Yes, he just doesn't remember**), Cattenlent (**Don't worry; there shall be romance. Maybe not in this chapter, but soon.**), oztan (**:D lol Thank yous!**), and htotheizzo! (**L may be the king of innocent faces, but Light is king of acting!**)**

Tell me if you think any characters are OC… I think they are, but maybe that's just me being paranoid, I can't tell. Also, there's a poll on my page on whether anyone wants me to continue this series of little shorties or not… so far, only one person has voted, and they said no.  And no, 'Kandas' is not a typo. It will be explained.

**Ramble Two:**

**Of Kandas and Handcuffs**

Light stifled a yawn. _Three in the frikin' morning… my god, he NEVER sleeps…_ Was the thought that continually ran through his head. He had been staring at his screen for the past hour, not taking in a single word on the page. Another, bigger yawn was threatening his defenses, and this time Light couldn't stop it. He opened his mouth so wide he thought the bone might crack.

"Ryu—Ryuuzaki… can't you stop for the night? I'm exhausted." Light said between another yawn. He may love the man, he may be willing to die for him, but this level of sleep deprivation was just ridiculous! There was no response from beside him. "Ryuuzaki…?" Looking over to his left, he saw that the handcuff that was normally around the insomniac detective's wrist was instead locked around the leg to the desk.

"Ryuuzaki!" he growled. There was a thump from the direction of the kitchen, and L walked through the door. "Yes, what is it?" he asked, his voice the usual monotone. "If you don't unchain me from this desk right now, I swear I'll—what are you drinking?" Light asked suddenly, staring at the glass in the man's hands.

"Milk, Light-kun." L replied, quirking one eyebrow. Light gaped. "But… oh, don't tell me you put sugar in it!" He asked, cringing at the thought. "No, of course not. It's milk. Is there something wrong with that?" The detective inquired, going over and sitting in the chair opposite the young man.

And he sat normally.

With his legs down, not hugged up to his chest.

"L…? Are you feeling okay?" Light asked, leaning forward. L glanced down. "Ah, this. I feel the odd urge to take a nap. This…" he gestured with one hand to his unusually normal sitting position while taking a sip of milk, "… is just my way of… 'winding down.'" Light sat for a moment, then reached over and patted L on the head, grinning.

"What was that for?" L asked. "You're like a kitty!" Light squealed, ruffling his hair. "A sugar obsessed kitty! With panda eyes… a kitty-panda… a kanda!!" Ryuuzaki raised his eyebrows so high that they threatened to disappear into his hairline. "A kanda? You couldn't come up with something more original?" he asked.

Light pouted. L doubted he even realized he was doing it, or how cute he looked at the moment. "I thought it was pretty original," he huffed. L rolled his eyes.

"You would," he scoffed.

"Your mom," Light retorted.

"Is rotting in her grave," L reminded him.

A roll of the eyes was Light's articulate come back. Translated from Light-speak to English, '_I have nothing else to say to that, so, uh… you have a big mouth!'_

"Well, goodnight, Light-kun. I'm going to bed." L said, standing up and heading towards the elevator. "W-wait! What about me?" The boy called after him. L turned his head to glance back at him over his shoulder. "What _about _you?" "Aren't you going to unchain me from the desk?"

"Hm…" L said, pretending to think about it. He was going to have some fun with this. "No. Goodnight." He waved an airy hand, got in the elevator, and did exactly as he had said he would. He took a nap.

Light couldn't believe what had just happened. Here he was, stuck chained to a desk, while L—the insomniac, the one who would fall asleep sitting up from sleep deprivation—was curled comfortably in their bed. It wasn't right! Looking at the desk, he noticed a nail filer that Misa must have forgotten when she visited that day. Sighing, he took it up in his right hand and began to work away at the chain.

Logic be damned. He didn't care if it took all night, he was getting out of these handcuffs, and then he was going to strangle that damn kanda. _Then_ they could say he was Kira. It would be so, so worth it.


End file.
